Customer Survey

According to unconfirmed reports of unidentified sources, this survey appeared on the McDonnell Douglas web site for a couple of days. It is conjectured that a disgruntled employee with a sense of humor put it there until it was discovered. McDonnell Douglas, now merged with Boeing, was one of the largest arms dealers in the world. This version appeared at the People's Weekly World.

McDONNEL DOUGLAS Co.

WARRANTY REGISTRATION FORM

Enjoy your purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration form below.

Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. Mr. Mrs. Miss Lt. Gen. Classified Other

First name
Last name
Password
Code name

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-117A Stealth

3. Date of purchase:

4. Serial Number:

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

Received as gift/aid package
Catalogue Showroom
Independent Arms Broker
Mail order
Discount store
Government surplus
Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

Heard loud noise, looked up
Espionage
Recommended by friend/relative/ally
Political lobbying by manufacturer
Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this MdDonnell Douglas product:

Style/appearance
Speed/maneuverability
Price/value
Comfort/convenience
Kickback/bribe
Recommended by salesperson

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

North America
Iraq
Central/South America
Aircraft carrier
Iraq
Europe
Iraq
Middle East (not Iraq)
Iraq
Africa
Asia/Far East

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon

10. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

Deficit Spending
Cash
Suitcases of cocaine
Oil revenues
Personal check
Credit Card

11. Your occupation:

Homemaker
Sales/marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle management
Eccentric billionaire
Defence minister/General
Retired
Student

12. To help us understand out customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Golf
Boating/sailing
Sabotage
Running/jogging
Destabilization/overthrow
Default on loans
Crafts
Black market/smuggling
Collectibles
Wines
Interrogation/torture
Crushing rebellions
Espionage/reconnaissance
Fashion clothing
Border disputes

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand F-17A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!